Tag Archives: endometriosis

Lady of Rage

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Lady of Rage

So today I found out I have an obsessive personality.  Here I go diagnosing myself again.  Why you may ask?  Let me tell you.

When I like something I really like it! Like a lot. 

In sixth grade I REALLY liked this guy.  He had a favorite rap song.  To impress him I learned all the lyrics to the song and rapped it to him on the phone. 

Where was my mother?

Lol!

I’m pretty sure he just took pity on me because our “relationship” lasted a matter of minutes.

But guess what I don’t have to like something to obsess over it.  When I was diagnosed with endometriosis I came home and read for hours.  I found out cutting gluten would increase my chances of both reducing pain and getting pregnant.  I threw away literally EVERYTHING in my pantry.  Everything that had any spec of gluten. 

Is this NORMAL?  I mean I guess people get excited about things right?  And who wouldn’t want to increase your chances of getting pregnant after years of trying.  And let’s not even talk about 12 year olds and what goes on in their minds.

But the issue is after I obsess I jet.  Quick, hard, and often with a bang. 

I told that guy he was an idiot, hung up the phone, and never talked to him again.  I saw him a few years ago and totally had to avoid eye contact. 

After not eating gluten for a month, I took a pregnancy test.  It was negative.  I went to In N Out.

Ok so that’s totally normal right?! Right!

WHO knows…..

Maybe it is or isn’t.  I just don’t give a crap anymore.  Life is imperfectly perfect.

Things don’t always go as planned.

Stop giving yourself a hard time and eat some animal style fries.

Ok maybe not every time you are sad, but you get it.  Overall, we are terribly hard on ourselves.  These past few weeks I’ve made a lot of mistakes; professionally, personally, and in parenting.  Some have hurt.  Bad.

But guess what some felt really good. 

Take a risk!

Rap!

Live.

Always with love,

Modo

Genesis 11 month update: Imagine the possibilities

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Hey Sugarplum,

It’s happening! You are about to turn one and I swear the closer it gets the more I can’t believe it to be true. It’s like I want to pretend that you are still just a 7lbs baby coming home from the hospital, but you are far from that! You have begun developing into a little girl. This is your last full month of being a “baby” but I think you skipped that memo and jumped full fledge into being a toddler. Your imagination these days is VAST! Don’t tell anyone but one day while washing dishes I lost you! I called for you…no answer. I checked EVERY room and you weren’t there. I panicked! I went back to your room and literally just stood in the middle of your room and yelled “Genesis”! Unless we were experiencing the rapture I knew you had to be in the house somewhere. Then it happened…I heard a giggle…I walked over to your closet and there you were: HIDING!

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You thought it was the most hilarious thing ever. I’ll admit I did too….after I calmed down. But that story practically sums up this month for us; it’s been fun! You understand so much now. Daddy catches himself all the time saying “she’s just so smart; she’s a real little kid”! No matter how big you get you will always be Mommys baby girl. That 7lbs baby girl that looked at me the second she was born, laid her head on my chest, and pooped all over me!

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Uncle Patrick came to visit

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Your first photo booth

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Disneyland for Cousin Zoe’s birthday

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A Sunday evening at church

Other things that happened this month:
-you got your FIRST tooth!
– you have started sleeping through the night for longer spans of time which is AWESOME for Mommy
-you have favorite toys and shows now

You love:
-Elmo ( the way you light up when he laughs is priceless! )
-learning (you are a sponge! You take everything in and exam it critically. You have started saying Mom, bird, bath, no, and signing all done)
-dancing (anytime any music comes on you are shaking and wiggling)
-fake laughing (honestly anything that involves pretending you get a kick out of which includes peek a boo, hiding, and acting out characters of books)
-clapping (usually for yourself)
-drinking out of a straw (you love your sippy cup! After you are done you close it so politely like a big girl)
-making friends ( when we go to the Playgym you walk up to all the kids handing them toys and trying to get then to chase you. I love you are so friendly, sweet, and kind)

You could pass on:
-the beach (you hated the sand)
-skipping breakfast (if you don’t have it anger ensues quickly lol)

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Happy 11 months Genesis!

Always with love,

Mom

Genesis 10 month update: Summertime Fun

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Genesis 10 month update: Summertime Fun

Hey Munchkin,

Genesis!!!!! I am convinced you love your name because the look you give me while running down the hall, as I am yelling it, is pure joy. I guess we can call it running but really it’s a fast paced waddle; that tends to end in giggling falls down the hallway, as Daddy chases you laughing “I’m going to get you”. Pure joy. We laugh so much now. You make us realize that life is so sweet and to enjoy it more; you know don’t sweat the small stuff. Something else you have loved this month is all the summertime fun: you had your first time in the pool, went to pool parties, baby showers, and even the county fair. We have had a blast. We can’t wait to spend the rest of the summer outdoors; smiling and laughing the time away.

More sleepover fun with  Zoe

More sleepover fun with Zoe

Pool party for your buddy Roy

Pool party for your buddy Roy

Sleepovers with cousin Zoe

Sleepovers with cousin Zoe

Getting ready for the pool

Getting ready for the pool

First time in the pool

First time in the pool

Other things we noticed:
-You have started sharing: you love putting food in our mouths, handing us toys
-You are trying your best to say words: Dad, dog, bye, hi, and mom are some of your favorites
-You wave hi and bye when Daddy leaves for work

10 months

10 months

You love:
-the water; either it be the pool, pool parties, or even the bathtub
-trying new foods, we have tried pasta and meat this month
-running down the hallway, especially when Daddy chases you

10 months

10 months

You could pass on:
-your own food; you absolutely love eating off Mommy’s plate
-shoes; we had the hardest time getting you to walk in shoes, we have tried over four pair now
-getting out of any body of water, there are always a lot of tears involved

Always with love,

Modo

Seafood anyone

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Here we go! My journey back to being a pescatarian. I was a vegetarian for about 1.5 years in my teen days and felt AMAZING. I had a few problems with not getting enough protein though so I am going to keep fish around this time. Beginning with axing out beef and pork…then slowly eliminating the rest. Any tips send them my way.

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Slow Food

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Slow food 😋!

I HATE fast food. It never has any color…well because it’s dead. Crock pot is my best friend…especially because I am not the best cook. Endometriosis has done one thing right for me and that’s taught me to eat better. I am grateful because REAL food taste so much better.

Always with love,

Modo

Love is…

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I’ve had some amazing teachers in my life that have taught me lessons that have carried me through dark times. But, there has been on teacher in particular that has taught me lessons I never thought possible. Babe you have taught me what TRUE LOVE is…not that fairy tale roses and gifts love but that raw, unconditional, agape love. As we prepare to celebrate our five year anniversary tomorrow (and 13 years together) I want to thank you for being such a gentle, kind, and loving teacher…never boastful, harsh, or inconsiderate. Thank you for teaching me love is:

-holding me tighter when I had given up on us…love is…
-never thinking I was less of a woman when the doctors said you can’t have babies, but actually thinking I was more of a woman because of it…love is….
-loving our little miracle baby like a father should love a daughter and getting so excited when she does anything new…love is…
-being a man of God…love is….
-holding my hand through countless and countless doctors appointments and always lightening the mood to calm my nerves…love is…
-getting up before the sun and coming home after the sunset to ensure your family has all that we need…love is…
-loving people in spite of…love is…
-grabbing a sponge and helping me clean up poop, pee, and whatever else our baby girl throws at us that day…love is…
-ALWAYS coming to me at the end of the day and asking “are you ok?”…love is…
-YOU!

I couldn’t have prayed for a better man! Happy anniversary baby and here’s to 50 more!