Just a normal day (April 13th)
Grocery stores, fresh fruit, long naps…..just a normal day for the Doziers.
Always with love,
After an exhausting day of moving, I watched all the kids get sillier and sillier, while the adults barely were able to keep from killing each other. Little kids remind me of my college days at the bars. You know when you hear those bittersweet words “LAST CALL”!!!! Then everyone rushes to the bar and tries to drink every single shot they have ever wanted to try in the past five years in approximately five minutes. Those last few minutes are ABSOLUTELY RIDICULOUSLY AWESOME! Everyone dances their hardest, laughs their hardest, and quite often the most interesting memories are created in those last moments. How I miss college….
Always with love,
The Christmas List
Throughout my elementary school years I included a pony on my Christmas list every year. The list would read something like: a skip-it, new clothes, and a pony. Every year!!! On Christmas morning I always had this slight sadness when my mother didn’t escort me to our backyard to unveil my new playmate. But one year I didn’t include it. I can’t remember when… or even why I stopped, but I did. When do we lose that childlike belief that fairytales come true….should we? As I look at my little girl I wonder what she will convince herself that I am capable of producing in the name of love…in the name of magic. I pray that her requests will restore that childlike belief (in myself) that I AM capable of anything.
Always with love,
“Parents are often so busy with the physical rearing of children that they miss the glory of parenthood, just as the grandeur of the trees is lost when raking leaves.” –Marcelene Cox
A little fun: Here is the link to a little prediction game we set up for Genesis. Take a guess at her weight and birth date. We will announce winners a few days after she is born. http://www.expectnet.com/games/BabyGenesis
Baby Notes: I tend to keep this baby notes section mainly informational, however, becoming a parent is a pretty emotional journey. Expressing personal emotions and feelings is risky in such a public forum, but I had to remember my sole purpose for creating this blog was to share my experience completely to help others realize they are not alone. I am pretty sure this emotional journey has been heightened for me due to my limited mobility and being put on bedrest since four and a half months, but I am very cautious of making any excuses or giving some rational and logical explanation to my feelings (I personally feel as women we tend to do this a lot, but that is a whole other blog post).
The day I found out I was going to be a mom changed my life forever. I immediately, literally immediately, began changing my mindset about several relationships I had in my life, my relationship with God, my marriage, my confidence within myself, even child rearing practices that I thought I would never even consider. The first few months I didn’t take it so serious, then as my belly grew so did my desire to try and “fix” all of these internal conflicts that I had with the before mentioned categories. For weeks, maybe even months I felt like I was on an emotional rollercoaster. This was demonstrated through several days of isolating (sometimes weeks), a lot of crying, and a TON of pretending that everything was okay when people asked. As I grew deeper into this process I started questioning friendships and why I had been drawn to certain people, why I always felt that I needed to be everyone’s cheerleader, my obsession with being understood and accepted by others, my fixation on being fulfilled through work performance and educational accolades, and the innate need to continue to support people even when I wasn’t getting any in return. But this process also helped me to become a best friend to my husband, learn how to say no even when pressured, securing more confidence in my truth that raising this child is the most important job I will have on this planet besides being a wife, and identify my needs (though I am still working on fulfilling them).
I have started to accept that fact (started) that all these questions don’t have to be answered before my daughter arrives. At first I felt it was a disservice to her if I didn’t. She didn’t ask to be brought into this world and I owed it to her to be at my best no matter how much or little time was given. Then I realized how completely unrealistic that was. I do believe that once you decide to become a parent that it is your responsibility to better yourself, however I think the amazing life lessons our little ones can learn from us by merely watching us become better people is also so vital. Overall I don’t think I will ever be the same Monique I was before getting pregnant; sometimes that makes me elated and sometimes it causes immense loneliness. I am learning to take the good with the bad, develop new ways to cope, and trusting in God’s plan.
This past month in pictures:
Weeks 31-34: There are so many updates from these past few weeks so I put them in bullet point to keep me from being long winded.
–Maternity Pictures: We had our home maternity shoot which was tons of fun! I am a little sad that we didn’t get any outside shots but I think being at home really captured our journey during this pregnancy. We have about another week before they come back and can’t wait to share them with you all.
–3D/4D Ultrasound: We actually had to go twice because Genesis did not want to look at the camera the first time (for some reason this girl is in love with sleeping head down on my placenta). The second time we went back she still wasn’t willing to put on a show until the last five minutes where she actually gave us a glimpse of her dimple on her left cheek! I had dimples on both cheeks so I am hoping for a little mini me in this category. She also had a lot of hair!!!
–Nursery: Genesis’ nursery is officially underway. We don’t think we will actually completely finish it until she is about three months old. Her room is doubling as our guest room as well, so with the furniture needed for guests we can not fit all her furniture in it until after we completely transfer it to her room.
–Parenting Classes: We have finished 6 out of 7 of our parenting classes which have been pretty fun. It’s pretty cool getting to know other couples throughout the process and one of the couples actually had their baby and sent pictures which was pretty cool.
–Belly buds: I started using belly buds for Genesis. I made her a little playlist of some of my favorite songs (including a little gospel, country, and of course John Mayer). Byron has recorded two books for her I play for her too. She literally sits still when Byron voices comes on, it is the sweetest thing.
–Birth Plan: We finished and presented our birth plan to our doctor, which she took very well. The hospital has approved for me to take my placenta home after a quick blood test which I am very excited about! If you want a copy of our birth plan shoot me an email and I am more than willing to share it: Monique.email@example.com
–Baby Shower: We had our baby shower which was a BLAST! We got rained out of the backyard so we changed to an inside location at my church which was such a blessing. I was so overwhelmed with love that day and can’t thank all our friends and family enough for everything. It was a day I won’t forget. Check out my Facebook page for more pictures I will be posting very soon!
–Weight Loss: In the past two weeks I have lost almost five pounds which made me really nervous. Will be talking to doctor about this at our appointment this week.
–Pre-term labor: We have had a few more pre-term labor scares which we took a lot better this time around. I immediately laid down, elevated my feet, and Byron went into action with massages. I am so happy to labor with my husband. He has really just jumped into being a great birth partner!
Today the baby is the size of: large cantaloupe
Cravings: Chili Cheese Fries
Next Appointment: August 8th (officially start our weekly appointments)
Mochi Update: No updates this month.
Mommy feels: moments of high energy and complete exhaustion, more nauseous, and some lightheadness.
Coming next week: Hospital Bag!
Thank you for joining us on this wonderful journey!
Always with love,
This Monday I will be featured on an online radio show, Shawnuff Radio at 8pm. I will send you more details tomorrow to listen in. This is an exciting time for SWTVU and I am so happy to share it with you all.
Always with love,