Category Archives: Arguing

Minute with Modo (#13): Do You

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Minute with Modo (#13): Do You

Do You

You want to know when my husband and I fight? When one of us is trying to control the other in some way.

Usually.

Sure we have those typical couple fights: money, waking the baby, what do you want for dinner (why is that always such a hard question).

But when I get down to it most of our fights are about some element of control. But the big question is why?! Why are we trying to control one another and for what purpose?!

Some of the reasons I thought of were: for safety (“babe get off that ladder it’s broken”); for companionship (“I don’t want you to go out tonight”); but the one that made the most sense was for self improvement.

Wait, Modo how do you control someone to improve yourself?!

You can’t! But this is how you fool yourself into thinking you can. Peep the scenario below:

My hubby and I started this meal plan. I bought all the food. Prepped. And printed out the list. The first day while he was at work I cheated. Yep before lunch I at chocolate. The next day he was going to cheat and I went IN on him. Then I realized I wasn’t going off on him I was really going off on myself. I didn’t want to do that damn meal plan in the beginning. Who was I kidding?

I needed to improve my eating habits, so I decided to control my husbands. Sound insane?! It IS!!!!! Lol

I told y’all to pray for me.

Ultimately we have to do US! Focus on you. Make YOU a better YOU! When we both focus more on bettering ourselves and just loving the other person we have the best days. Those are the days we kiss the most, laugh the hardest, and fall in love again.

Anyone else have crazy stories like this? Anyone feel my pain?!

Always with love,

Modo

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Boxing Match

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10…9…8…7…I prayed he wouldn’t get up, but I knew him for quite a while now and knew he wasn’t quite out for the count. As projected he bounced back and tried to hit me with a one-two, but I dipped and dodged the swings of the tongue. My component was my husband and boy he must have worked out since our last go round because it was much easier to win our new car fight than this one. For a moment I tried to remember how this warm-up spar turned into a full fledged boxing match.

It was a normal Saturday morning, which meant I was griping about how we once again let the chaos of the week take control of our small abode. It also meant my husband was pretending to be asleep. Before I knew it, a quick jab of “say something else” started the battle. The lights dimmed, the mic dropped from the ceiling, and that famous guy with the good hair was in our living room. In this corner wearing mix matched church socks, a dingy white T-shirt, and black framed glasses….The Doz. And in this corner wearing the same shirt she had on from last night, morning hair that would scare a ghost, and who knows where she put her glasses because she never can find them….Modeezzy. Ding, ding, ding.

FIRST ROUND!!! I came out fighting with everything I had, as usual. A few jabs regarding old stuff from last week, a quick left about dirty dishes, and an upper cut about working hard. I kept it coming with a left, right, left: bedroom light still broke, hallway door held together by a hair tie, and of course the dishes. Actually I punched with the dishes for a good minute…nonstop…with all my power…until I literally couldn’t stand it anymore. I knew I had him, he was wavering, but the Doz was a patient fighter; he didn’t swing much, studied his opponent until the perfect time. And to my surprise he slammed me with a below the belt “you didn’t cook dinner last night so why should I wash dishes” punch. I blacked out, I went kamikaze. Boxing turned into street fighting and all rules went out the window.

SECOND ROUND!!!…I didn’t even wait for the bell to ring. I came out with illegal punches all over the place. I hit with a “remember when” swing, the “I always” jab, the faithful “dirty dishes” punch, and “you no good” gut jab. But he just wouldn’t go down! I panicked for a bit and started to feel backed up in my corner. I didn’t want to have to use the worse move of them all “the family” swing, but I had no other choice. As I approached to lay the blow, I slipped on the “I’m sorry” forfeit. I didn’t see it coming, and before I knew it I was going down. The fall felt like slow motion as I watched the ring of “I take that back” quickly approaching, but right before I hit the ground he caught me.

He caught me with his silly jokes, big cheeks, and funny dances. He caught me with holding me until I fell asleep from crying after my grandmother’s death. He caught me with vowing to love me for better or for worse. He caught me with his love. I was defenseless and the fight was over, but the amazing thing was that we both won. I didn’t vow to never train for another battle; I didn’t vow to never throw a swing; I didn’t even vow to never start a battle again. But I did vow to never push away his ways of catching me….because it’s what got us in the ring in the first place.

Always with love,

Modo