“No one has yet fully realized the wealth of sympathy, kindness and generosity hidden in the soul of a child. The effort of every true education should be to unlock that treasure.” – Emma Goldman
After being informed at our last ultrasound appointment that we would have to wait a long 10 more days to find out the sex of the baby, I went into complete crazy mom mode! Literally Byron thought I was going to have to be committed when I didn’t find out the sex at our scheduled appointment. The next day I scheduled a gender reveal appointment at a 3D/4D ultrasound agency to ease my mind. Sure it sounds crazy…hell it was crazy, but I just couldn’t wait any longer. I am sure when we plan for baby #2 that we will look back on this and laugh….or secretly do it again and not tell anybody.
Baby Notes: Finding out this little one inside me was a girl will go down as one of the most exciting moments in my life. I immediately began to plan her take home outfit, look up ballet classes, and even researched women making strides in male dominated fields. Then I realized….oh shit it’s a girl! Periods, boyfriends, and that block of time when every girl absolutely hates their mother!!!! How in the world would I get through this???? And if she was ever so blessed with the personality of her mother I could look forward to those wonderful moments when you sit and think did my child just sass me without my knowing. In the 7th grade I swore I was in love with the boy I thought I would marry. We would literally watch music videos on the phone together….WHO WATCHES TV AND JUST HOLDS THE PHONE? It was such a juvenile love. But, even thinking back on it now I can truly say I was in love. I was in the only kind of love that I knew to be true at that age. My mother watched with a hawk eye, but never really made me feel like a goober for liking this boy so much. We actually dated off and on for several years, but ultimately the relationship ended tragically….because what tweenage hormone driven relationship actually ends in a fairytale? I cried for days…days! I was heartbroken. When finding out I was having a daughter I reflected back to this moment in my life and thought….OH LORD PLEASE DON’T LET MY DAUGHTER RUN UP MY PHONE BILL!
Sure some say that girls come with way more complicated life choices than boys. But, I say…nothing will take away that moment of sheer joy when I place her veil over her face, the laughter that will ensue when we shop for her first bra, the tears I get to dry when a guy breaks her young heart. As a mother I will get to have those moments with her and that is worth every day she will drive me crazy as a teenager.
These past few weeks have been all about planning for the baby shower. It’s a tradition in my family that the sisters plan the baby shower for each other. I have helped plan three showers for my amazing nieces and nephews and I have to say I am ELATED to finally have one planned for me. Byron and I have always been backyard party folks (never liked too much of a fuss made over us), so we decided to go with a Baby-Q theme: good food, good company, and good music.
We are into our fifth month of pregnancy!
Today the baby is the size of: a banana
Cravings: fish, light and refreshing foods (salads, fruit, fruit juice (that counts right!))
Next Appointment: May 2nd
Mochi Update: Her bad behaviors have reduced quite a bit since Byron and I have started sending her to day board a few days a week and she was even highlighted as “Puppy of the Week”! However, since the staff absolutely adores her she is rarely in her puppy run or crate, makes for a very whiny dog when she gets home. She constantly wants to be held or literally tucked under my feet. While it may sound very adorable, almost face planting after tripping over a 5 pound dog is no bueno.
In other Mochi news…Byron and I were offered a great opportunity that we are still thinking over that will cause us to relocate for approximately a year. However the new place does not accept dogs. We are still thinking things over and have a few more months before we make a firm decision, but the anxiety of potentially having to place Mochi right before having a baby is causing quite the anxiety in our home.
Mommy feels: very emotional lately! I thank God for Byron’s patience with me on a daily basis. I seriously am up and down day by day. There have been many tears of joy and extreme insanity lol! I can laugh now that I am slowing starting to be able to control my emotions, slightly. Raging hormones and change in temperament is something that a lot of people joke about while being pregnant, but it is not always a laughing matter. There were moments I truly felt extreme sadness which caused moments of isolation. When Byron would ask about my mood I literally could not pinpoint events that caused me to feel the way I was. While I am still trying to get a grasp on things I have decided to just become proactive in relief when these moments happen. I notice I am happier when the windows in the house are open, music is on, and honestly sometimes when I have nothing or no one to care for. There have been days I have dropped Mochi off at day board just to have time to come home and have an absolute quiet house. I now have to do what’s best for me to make sure this little one has the best environment to grow and thrive in.
Thank you for joining us on this wonderful journey!
Always with love,